When your girlfriend’s MAD at YOU.
K…. When your girlfriend’s mad and really, really pissed, Like, no joke–DON’T touch her. Cuz literally… She’s like a volcano with boobs (aka about to explode).
So unless you want nub for a wrist… Don’t touch her. And that means, shoulder, low back, knee or face. And definitely, not her boobs. Those are our sweet spots… It’s going make us feel like you want to have sex and TAKE from us. Which you DO… But maybe not right at this moment. Next…
Do NOT under any circumstances say the ‘R’ word. Relax, cuz we CAN’T relax at this point. That’s like telling boiling water, to calm down. Just DUMB. And don’t say CALM down either! That’s just as bad (sometimes worse). What you need to do right now is say; “Tell me… What happened.” Not… “What’s wrong?” Cuz sometimes, it comes in… like a hundred things (all-at-once) and we can’t pinpoint it. And we don’t exactly want to regurgitate the actual thing that went wrong. We want to lead up to it, give it in order. That helps us actually calm down cuz we’re trying to see it ‘clearly’. So that helps direct our pain OUT by giving it an exit.
So saying things like… “What happened?” Helps. And once you ask us, just stand there—listen. Don’t talk. Cuz we’re in the spewing phase and you’ll mess up our flow, then we’ll have to start ALL over again. Annoying and totally unnecessary. Honestly, we can’t even hear you at this point. It’s alllll being re-played in our mind and it’s so vivid.
When we stop (and it’ll happen, I promise) even if it’s just to cry (take gulps or catch our breath) cuz we’re really trying to recount every single fiber of detail, for YOU. At that point, you say, “What ELSE? What else… is bothering you or pissing you off?”
Repeat this, until we’ve run out of things to say. If you haven’t done this in a while (or EVER) it’s going to take some time. Until we’ve LITERALLY run out of things to say. And that can include (cuz it’s all rolled up in one for us) things from two weeks ago, two months ago, two years ago (that’s really pissed us off but got stored).
To understand this method and WHY it works you’d first need to understand your GIRL. When she’s in pain she’s doing one of two things;
Re-playing the scene over and over again (that hurts like a mother) or telling herself verbally (in her mind) what it means to her. The meaning she’s attached to it NOT necessarily what it means. So, if she’s lost her best friend, she could be telling herself she NOT worth a best friend. There’s something wrong with HER etc.
So she’s drowning in her abyss of shit right now and the ONLY thing she can do to stay afloat (climb out, tread so she doesn’t sink) is TALK… about it. It’s her release. Kinda like when you release through your dick (same thing). Only WE’RE talking creatures so that’s how WE release.
So don’t say things like, “Do you want have sex, you’ll feel better.” Cuz that’s how YOU feel better. Cuz you’ll be stressed, you’ll have sex, you’ll feel calmer. You’re tired, you’ll have sex, you’ll feel refreshed! You’re bored, you’ll have sex, you’ll feel invigorated. The important thing to understand is, we’re estrogen based. That’s a FEELING hormone, which means we feel everything all day long (even things that don’t make sense, we feel). It doesn’t even have to belong to us, we pick it up from our best friend (sibling, stranger) THINK it’s coming from us.
That’s why you can talk to your girlfriend first thing in the morning, she’s all bubbly and sweet, can’t wait to hook up later. Then she bumps into her BFF hears all about the boyfriend cheating (using her friend) she takes on THAT feeling (as if it’s hers). Few hours later she’s jogging listening to her ipod, it’s talking about the statistics of relationships today. How MOST guys just want sex. Actually, you guys just want to weed out all the skanks, first. So now she’s so irked and thinking about asking you for some space. She heads over to work, sees a guy at work try to cop a feel And NOW… All guys are dicks. You call her shortly after and she’s like, “WHAT?!!” And You’re like, “Whaahappened?”
That’s WHY when you give us the time and attention to talk right away (uninterrupted) we feel immediate RELIEF. And if it happens to be YOU we’re pissed about, (just so you get it) it’s not about giving us SPACE to get over why we’re mad at YOU. That only makes things worse. A lazy guy’s way to make it look like he cares.
We need to talk about it right AWAY. Whenever we’re really upset, those thoughts in our head (what we’re hearing) are attached to emotional weight. It’s not that we acknowledge shit intellectually (like you do) rate it in terms of importance, is it a waste of time… YOU deal with it later. We feel it right away cuz we’re primarily feeling-based and until we can verbally (in GREAT detail) take it out, it’s so heavy to deal with and carry all day long. Just like, if you were to carry a 10lb plate with a chain around your neck. It’d be heavy right? That’s us. Till we talk to someone who CARES. So it’s a real good idea to check in with your girl several times a day cuz if she’s in Shitsville, you can bring her back to the real world. Back to real time… with your FOCUS.
That’s the gift of love, takes you out of your past or present shit (as well as any fear of the future) you feel unstoppable, cuz it puts you in this safety bubble, so you can percolate your dreams (aspirations, hopes) into reality. That’s why being in love is such a HIGH. Continued ‘in detail’ in the The Wisdom of the Penis – SOS Manual