Why do guys pull away?

In Blogs, Relationships by NicholeLeave a Comment

Do YOU really love her… dude?

Especially now that you’ve been together for a while…

(The most critical question you’ll ever ask)

Everything points to you loving her. I mean, she is your girlfriend. But how come you’re not so sure? Not   to mention the toll it’s taken YOU girl… Cuz you’ve like, given him everything. You drop your plans in a second—just to go see him when he CALLS… last minute. (MAJOR taboo) You cancel your friends, take 3 buses just to meet up (when you have so much to do) YOU sacrifice… So you don’t get it, cuz it’s clear AF he should be in love with you. So why’s a guy sense of knowing... if he’s in love jeopardized now, cuz no where in your history books have you guys ever been UNSURE if you’re in love.

You’re either madly in love...or NOT.

I mean… dude, you’re the ONLY one who can know (no one can know for YOU) this growing epidemic of not being SURE if you’re in love or not… is serious, especially after all that time. Why and how did your natural certainty get snipped? Like seriously… leaving you bleeding in all this confusion? WHAT happened? Why are you questioning if you really love her… AFTER she’s invested all this time and energy? Why not from the beginning? Why after all that TIME? What… changed? Does ANYBODY ask these fucken questions?

Kinda weird dude, don’t you think? That in your OWN mind… you don’t know. It’s like, your whole insides has been snatched and thrown into the abyss and we can just call that the Media. You need to know, man. You need to be sure. What the fuck is going on? Like seriously… I’ll tell YOU… and it has nothing   to do with you (really). Well, maybe indirectly. But once you see what it is I’m about to tell you I promise you… YOU will never doubt, wonder, be unsure or guess… you’ll KNOW. And that sense of certainty will over spill to your entire LIFE. You’ll be sure of everything you to DO (fight for, back off of, make the decision to GO for). So listen up! Cuz what I’m about to tell you is uber important and is gonna change EVERYTHING. Today on the Fairy Goddess RAAAW… tellin’ it like it is.

About fucken time too!

If YOU look out at the world, you’ll see that things have accelerated. Everything’s moving forward BUT the most important thing. OUR relationships… they’re moving backwards. No surprise most of us are stuck in the past, anyway. And given it’s the same o’l formula YOU meet, you’re excited, ninety days go by (what I call the fairy tale phase) so he farts, her legs are like dread locks galore and its SAME conflict… bullshit. Although we girls are making headway pushing for rights n’ stuff, it’s like we’ve given the most important right away… the power to own our femininity, that magnetic sweet-spot that passively lures things to us (without trying). We’re not advancing, we’re having a relapse! Cuz we’re more confused than ever!

Especially what to do about our vulnerability…

Show it… Don’t show it? How can we keep hiding it? If we show it, the feminists are on our ass. If we don’t we can LITERALLY feel the build up—and we know we’re gonna EXPLODE. Most likely, at you dude. And then of course you guys think we’re messed up… unstable. Fair. Cuz we ARE. So… Wait!! If we prove we’re strong and hold it all in, we suffer. Let go… cuz we just CAN’T hold it in any more and we’re like Medusa on crack! What’s WRONG with this scenario? We’re not gaining in power, we’re losing power, the kind that’s inherited and IS our birthright…

OUR ability to inspire transformation by being authentic to our nature… our vulnerability

(Which btw is like kryptonite to a guy)

Cuz no man can resist the delicateness of that little girl, inside YOU. Unless of course he’s already acting like a little pampered girl (himself) so will feel competitive (as in you needing attention) when he’s USED TO getting most of it from you in the first place and accustomed to YOU dealing with things on your own. So greatly annoyed and most likely tell you… “To get over it” Which a lot of us girls can’t help but to attract, when our primary energy is masculine in nature. Cuz we’re doing all the chasing, pursing, tip toeing, planning. So the guy we pull will already be used to us doing all the work in the relationship.

The aggressive way we’re going about things (right now) in relationships is OFF kilter, cuz as soon as there’s a fight GUYS are not gonna be accustomed to being sensitive to our feelings/needs cuz they’ve had theirs put ahead of ours from day one!! The one doing the chasing will always be extra sensitive to the one they’re trying to GET.

That’s just the first fatal flaw.

The second… Since we’ve done SO much work trying to get them (hold on to them) make sure they’re happy, we’re super pissed when we don’t see a little leeway here. And we just don’t get it!? Cuz we’ve sacrificed silently for them in so many ways—but they’re NOT reciprocating in our time of need! Grrrr…

News Bulletin everybody!

Guys DON’T work the same way we girls work. When we do for them… they just figure we want to. They’re not tallying up the score thinking at some point, they need to give back. Lmao They just accept everything we’re giving. Which is why it’s so important that they’re inspired… to GIVE. Or it just doesn’t happen. Then a girl’s like, "Oh… I guess I need to give MORE.” Noooo cut off all valves! HALT all juices flowing!! ASAP! Cuz guys don’ have the same hang up of giving when they don’t want to, like we do. They give when they WANT. They ask a girl to go out when they are attracted to her… pulled. Otherwise they don’t waste their time. We go out with a guy cuz he’s ‘nice’ (not really into him) just hope (through much encouragement through friends n’ family) that he’ll grow on us… in time. LOL                     

So this “aggressively” going after a guy business causes a severe imbalance, which rears its ugly head especially in fight. Cuz he’s just not seeing your point of view. And NOW… since you’ve worked sooo hard to get him, keep him… you’re pissed!! So it becomes alllll about winning the argument, defending and supporting your feelings (since he’s NOT). It’s not about enhancing the union, really understanding each other’s sore spots (emotional triggers) which btw is the whole GIFT of being in a relationship, in the first place. Cuz that’s the only way YOU can heal—no one else is gonna be as close to your heart as that person. They’ll activate your deepest fears. And each of you can then form a richer new BOND… without the emotional coloring of other people and events from your PAST. That’s friggin exciting!! That’s the true YOU—un-tampered. Waiting to break free!

And that’s where a soul mate comes in…

Guaranteed… They’re splinters are gonna agitate your wounds ‘perfectly’. And as everything becomes INFLAMED supreme tenderness is required and that only happens… when it’s the real deal, when it’s true love. Which is never forced… we are elected to love. Patiently anticipating its delicious unfolding (no haste, no insecurities, no aggression) just a tempered sense of worthiness. And if we take THAT energy out to the world and use the opposition’s force to turn on it self… by stepping away from battle and onto a higher (inspired) ground it’ll accomplish 3 things. A higher perspective from which to teach and show, an un-threatened viewpoint (fo shur), a clearer vision of the peace we’re actually aiming for. Otherwise just like combat… push against push will always lead to more push (trying to get the other one to loose footing) which leads to conflict. And cuz the war becomes about WINNING the cause and its message is obscured, both in world events and wobbly relationships.

So… The media thinks it’s empowering us girls by making us think we’ve got all the control as long as we’re chasing YOU guys. We CALL the shots. We take charge. We SAY… We wanna be serious cuz we’re like, through waiting for you to decide. WE ask you out.  And… with the pressure off some of you guys are seriously liking this. Cuz you figure… It’s a lot clearer this way (and cheaper). If a girl likes YOU she’ll just tell you and you’ll know. No mishap. No misfire. No guess work. Meanwhile, we girls aren’t really focused or paying attention to our feelings cuz it’s diss-sensitized—it’s allll about the SEX now. We wanna MASTER it cuz that means power. KNOWING how to control your body means… you’ll stay. So we think. So we put up with more (cuz we want some) do whatever it takes (cuz we need it) go above and beyond (blow jobs/buy you things/fight your battles/fight OTHER bitches) so we can have it (your dick). When it should be the other way around… YOU guys impressing us! I mean, who has the vagina here—we DO!! Why are we chasing the guys?


I don’t know about you girls, but where I come from a goddess DOESN’T run after a mere mortal. Guess you didn’t get the memo. Honestly from my perspective there’s just so much ‘middle-man’ activity going on, with all your social interference (celebrity fads) people who control them… tell ’em what to do YOU just can’t see straight. The obvious is not so OBVIOUS. Like… HOW everything’s reversed and we girls are actually doing MORE of the work in a relationship. WHERE’S equality there?! But hey that’s okay…. We’re in control. When, were we out of control in the relationship realm—we OWNED that! Not so much now, cuz guys are calling the shots. Since they get to DECIDE to accept our advances (or not). We’re asking them out, asking them to be serious… which naturally takes our focus OFF the fact, that there is NO competition when it comes to us!! We’re UNLIKE any other… We’re going after them—so THEY get to choose if they want YOU or not.

Does that sound empowering in ANY way?!    

Well… It’s apparent someone wants us to think so. Probably the same people, that wants us to think… love hurts. Falling in love is losing yourself (weak) PLUS all that other shit they sing about. Subconsciously we’re being brainwashed to fear… being in love (if we want a career) cuz it makes us soft, vulnerable, off our game. Yeah… if you’re coupling to GET (something) but if it’s a soul mate union it can ONLY fucken empower YOU. Two halves complete (NOT each looking to take what the  other doesn’t have in character, status, personality) IS two pieces finally coming together!

Which means DOUBLE the strength and power, NOT less stability (fragmentation n’ shit) love doesn’t yield to control—control yields to LOVE. That’s why it owns your ass. You can’t make love artificially happen no matter how many blow jobs you give. Truly, as you’re your fairy goddess I’m telling you right NOW this whole relationship thing on your planet needs a serious colonic. Cuz Firstly, if you girls are the ones running after guys, telling them you love ‘em, proposing n’ shit, at some point YOU guys are gonna wonder and ask yourself, “Did I TELL her I love her cuz I do or cuz she said it FIRST? Did I say I wanna make it official… be serious (marry her) cuz I WANT to or cuz she ASKED me?” Fuuck?

It’ll haunt you the rest of your life…

Personally, I find it hilarious that you guys use your body for sex (usually without reservation) when the dick CALLS – your pants fall. You know you won’t lose out its win/win for YOU. Just aim – shoot – SCORE. Girls on the other hand, usually wait to feel closer… trust. So you don’t just feel like they got away with some. K… Maybe just this once (you hope). Since your investment with them (having sex) has to do with wanting more of that—PLUS all the emotional frills (since sharing feelings is big for you) you’re careful. Not so much, with the guys. Guys have a body that fucks easily and cuz they’re designed that way it’d be their mind they’d use to gauge love (not their ass) since it doesn’t discriminate, especially TODAY. Their body is not a deciding FACTOR (lol) so it’s critical that their mind be involved in the final process. It makes the decision that their in love. It tells them, cuz it has the final say. That’s how YOU guys know for sure. To be deprived of using that faculty (cuz girls have short circuited it for you) means you’re not functioning fully and therefore will be questioning it LATER. On the same token girls (and I’m not talking skanks) hesitate to use your body right away, with you it’s your vag (not your head) that has the final say. And you know this… that’s why you wait. You know what’s gonna happen. It’s HOW you bond to a guy (through your body). Then it’s tough as hell to let him GO (no matter what type of asshole he becomes).

This is also WHY…

YOU guys can’t say ‘I love you’ so fast (unless you’re a player) since your mind… is the deciding factor. Girls CAN… Since words are thoughts from their mind (NOT a deciding factor) which is then very obvious, when we ask ourselves three months in… “WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? He’s such an IDIOT.” This is why it takes you guys a while… to know you’re in love (truly) with girls, it’s fairly quickly (if they let YOU in). So, saying I love you to a guy (first) and/or gettin’ down on one knee (like, WTF?) when it’s imperative it come from them (their mind) not US telling them, then receiving an automatic knee jerk response (if they’re not there yet) out of guilt and/or fearing to lose or upset us. Why are we fucking with the bare essentials? 

YOU need to be AWARE… This is key as to WHY men pull away.

If you want more insight like this? Get the book!! The Wisdom of the Penis - SOS MANUAL. Or reach out to me for some WISDOM Therapy. If you have any questions or comments that’s important to you or you want me to address another topic/scenario or event go to our contact page.

Talk soon… feel YOU often.

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