In Blogs, Relationships by Nichole2 Comments

When your girlfriend’s MAD at YOU.

K…. When your girlfriend’s mad and really, really pissed, Like, no joke–DON’T touch her. Cuz literally… She’s like a volcano with boobs (aka about to explode).

So unless you want nub for a wrist… Don’t touch her. And that means, shoulder, low back, knee or face. And definitely, not her boobs. Those are our sweet spots… It’s going make us feel like you want to have sex and TAKE from us. Which you DO… But maybe not right at this moment. Next…

Do NOT under any circumstances say the ‘R’ word. Relax, cuz we CAN’T relax at this point. That’s like telling boiling water, to calm down. Just DUMB. And don’t say CALM down either! That’s just as bad (sometimes worse). What you need to do right now is say; “Tell me… What happened.” Not… “What’s wrong?” Cuz sometimes, it comes in… like a hundred things (all-at-once) and we can’t pinpoint it. And we don’t exactly want to regurgitate the actual thing that went wrong. We want to lead up to it, give it in order. That helps us actually calm down cuz we’re trying to see it ‘clearly’. So that helps direct our pain OUT by giving it an exit.

So saying things like… “What happened?” Helps. And once you ask us, just stand there—listen. Don’t talk. Cuz we’re in the spewing phase and you’ll mess up our flow, then we’ll have to start ALL over again. Annoying and totally unnecessary. Honestly, we can’t even hear you at this point. It’s alllll being re-played in our mind and it’s so vivid.

When we stop (and it’ll happen, I promise) even if it’s just to cry (take gulps or catch our breath) cuz we’re really trying to recount every single fiber of detail, for YOU. At that point, you say, “What ELSE? What else… is bothering you or pissing you off?” 

Repeat this, until we’ve run out of things to say. If you haven’t done this in a while (or EVER) it’s going to take some time. Until we’ve LITERALLY run out of things to say. And that can include (cuz it’s all rolled up in one for us) things from two weeks ago, two months ago, two years ago (that’s really pissed us off but got stored).

To understand this method and WHY it works you’d first need to understand your GIRL. When she’s in pain she’s doing one of two things;

Re-playing the scene over and over again (that hurts like a mother) or telling herself verbally (in her mind) what it means to her. The meaning she’s attached to it NOT necessarily what it means. So, if she’s lost her best friend, she could be telling herself she NOT worth a best friend. There’s something wrong with HER etc.

So she’s drowning in her abyss of shit right now and the ONLY thing she can do to stay afloat (climb out, tread so she doesn’t sink) is TALK… about it. It’s her release. Kinda like when you release through your dick (same thing). Only WE’RE talking creatures so that’s how WE release.

So don’t say things like, “Do you want have sex, you’ll feel better.” Cuz that’s how YOU feel better. Cuz you’ll be stressed, you’ll have sex, you’ll feel calmer. You’re tired, you’ll have sex, you’ll feel refreshed! You’re bored, you’ll have sex, you’ll feel invigorated. The important thing to understand is, we’re estrogen based. That’s a FEELING hormone, which means we feel everything all day long (even things that don’t make sense, we feel). It doesn’t even have to belong to us, we pick it up from our best friend (sibling, stranger) THINK it’s coming from us.

That’s why you can talk to your girlfriend first thing in the morning, she’s all bubbly and sweet, can’t wait to hook up later. Then she bumps into her BFF hears all about the boyfriend cheating (using her friend) she takes on THAT feeling (as if it’s hers). Few hours later she’s jogging listening to her ipod, it’s talking about the statistics of relationships today. How MOST guys just want sex. Actually, you guys just want to weed out all the skanks, first. So now she’s so irked and thinking about asking you for some space. She heads over to work, sees a guy at work try to cop a feel And NOW… All guys are dicks. You call her shortly after and she’s like, “WHAT?!!” And You’re like, “Whaahappened?” 

That’s WHY when you give us the time and attention to talk right away (uninterrupted) we feel immediate RELIEF. And if it happens to be YOU we’re pissed about, (just so you get it) it’s not about giving us SPACE to get over why we’re mad at YOU. That only makes things worse. A lazy guy’s way to make it look like he cares.

(Not effective)

We need to talk about it right AWAY. Whenever we’re really upset, those thoughts in our head (what we’re hearing) are attached to emotional weight. It’s not that we acknowledge shit intellectually (like you do) rate it in terms of importance, is it a waste of time… YOU deal with it later. We feel it right away cuz we’re primarily feeling-based and until we can verbally (in GREAT detail) take it out, it’s so heavy to deal with and carry all day long. Just like, if you were to carry a 10lb plate with a chain around your neck. It’d be heavy right? That’s us. Till we talk to someone who CARES. So it’s a real good idea to check in with your girl several times a day cuz if she’s in Shitsville, you can bring her back to the real world. Back to real time… with your FOCUS.

That’s the gift of love, takes you out of your past or present shit (as well as any fear of the future) you feel unstoppable, cuz it puts you in this safety bubble, so you can percolate your dreams (aspirations, hopes) into reality. That’s why being in love is such a HIGH. Continued ‘in detail’ in the The Wisdom of the Penis – SOS Manual

(Sorely needed)


  1. So I have hurt my gf, it was during the hospital when we had a checkup because she got a stomach pain like 5 mins ago, after her doctors consolidation,
    I have spoken to her in the nicest way possible about her being too rushed with these sort of things, and one lead to another, We had a huge fight. And after the fight, I realize what she was going through as she never did tell me. And I apologize to her for not paying much attention to her and listening to her problems. So is been a few days now that she hasnt asnwer my text and even if I went to her house and find her to make things better she would give me the cold shoulder. saying you don’t need to care for me, and repeating reminds me that I should not be nice to her and care for her because I didn’t in the first place I gave it a few days off, however, I still check up on her thought text daily, but no reply.
    Today I went to pick her up from uni waiting for her class to end and we talked in the car. She finally told me what’s going on and I know that it was m fault and everything she told me I agree and thought about it during my days, not with her. I told her that I have thought about it the same way she has and I agree with it.
    She said I was not ready to be in a serious realtionship because I shoudlnt have acted that way, she gave me examples of the future what if things like these happen and I acted that way, of not showing it was a big deal or annoyed but taking her to the hosipital. I admitted I was annoyed, I have admitted that, and I told her I will be better and be a better man for her. I told her I dont want to be a kind of guy who doesn`t give you a 100 percent and apologize again, for what I did wrong. After dropping her off by her house, and after talking she said don’t text, call or come over when there aren`t things important and added that in a relationship not everything should be happy and there are times where I needed you, and during that time at the hospital you were there and I was happy and glad but it felt like you were annoyed and felt like you lashed out at me when we had the talk at the hospital I know you care, but the attitude of being annoyed at me because I was sick it unbearable and made me so mad, she said this isn`t a person I want to be with. I told her that I do care for you alot and worry about you and I told her I will show you that I can be that person who gives a 100 percent and now that I know how you feel I won’t be the same mistake again. Does she need some space to think? I know what I have done wrong and this is the first time that this is happening. I got too comfrotable and things with us have gotten so well and after I said that, I know I regret it now sincerly and I know what I did wrong. what should or can I do, to make things right again. ?

    1. Author

      Leon, it’s not really clear what the fight was about by what you wrote here. Especially regarding you telling her she rushes too much? So I can not elaborate on that. What I do see here is she has been GREATLY offended as she is a very serious girlfriend and obviously sees a future with YOU. It is really good that you continued to be caring and interested in how she IS feeling and doing. I’m not clear on what she didn’t tell you which you figured out later? I would need to know that in depth as well but I will tell you this… Girls EXPECT guys to read their cues, know their code sorta speak and it is a hell of a complicated JOB. THAT’S for sure. I am teaching girls to speak up about their feelings. But you need to understand sometimes a girl doesn’t speak up cuz when she tried with her dad… he had no time for her. He didn’t respond. Or she may have understood her feelings and things (important to her) are not that important compared to family matters, bills pressures etc.. So she may have learned NOT to speak of her feelings only cuz she fears you’ll dismiss or belittle them as well. Plus there must be similarities with you and her father or she would not have been pulled to you… as girls tend to firstly go towards someone who is familiar to them (even if they butt heads and didn’t get along with parental figure, brother etc). There is something more important here at play from what I can make out, she received the feeling from YOU that you were annoyed. It doesn’t matter the reason with her that you were annoyed (it’s not the real reason) what matters is WHY it triggered YOU… to be annoyed. You were NOT annoyed at what was ‘happening’ per say, that was a feeling that you’ve experienced at another time with someone else. So YOU need to first go back in memory and see where and WHY you were annoyed in a similar situation, with family that really put a burden on YOU. Or you taking care of someone at our expense etc cuz YOU were only reacting to a ‘feeling’ that reminded your mind and emotions of ANOTHER time where it really bothered you or overwhelmed you or just too much to handle for you… at the time. This is where a one on one consultation would enable me to know and show you exactly where and what it was, as I am clairvoyant and clairaudient. Once you are clear on that you can then approach your girlfriend (NOT as an excuse) but share with her when and where this was put on you in your life, when you were not ready etc and YOU were reacting to that, and you are grateful that that sword was taken out of your heart cuz you see it NOW (THIS IS WHY TWIN FLAMES MEET) so it will not come between you two any more. She is afraid it is a random act of insensitivity, you are farrrrr too sensitive to her feelings, to be insensitive BUT when an animal is trapped or in pain even if it is your loving pet, it will lash out at YOU. She needs to know… it is not HER it is your past. Still… do not make light of the situation but it will make sense to HER brain to understand the reason cuz right now she is conflicted she is NOT trusting her feelings for you cuz her heart felt pain AND… I’m sure it’s similar pain to what she has experienced with her dad or family making her feel (or her interpreting as such) that she is NOT of VALUE. Again, for a more accurate feedback with more details on things to do to restore our balance and harmony with your gf I would need to know a lot more about her, see a picture of her know what makes her tick, her values etc as I would sense off YOU and then I can directly guide YOU Leon. In the meantime I give YOU a ton of credit for seeking ANSWERS that resonate with you Leon. YOU have the HEART of a LION. Courageous, protective and extremely tender. Nichole

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